|Did you ever wish that you could control people with your mind? It’s actually pretty easy to get people to do certain things without knowing that it’s you who is making them do it. All you have to do is learn these 5 psychological tricks – you’ll be amazed at how simple it is.|
1. Eye contact: The eyes are the most expressive parts of our body. Anyone who really learns to master the currency of eye contact will have an upper edge in most communications.
To illustrate, you can do a number of things with it:
- Look people in the eyes to appear confident and honest.
- Smile with your eyes to appear charismatic and helpful. (Go to a mirror and notice how your eyes look when you smile. Try to have maintained that look in the eye)
- Wink and flirt with eyes to flirt confidently.
- Use eye contact as a way to direct the conversation in a group setting. One simple rule is that in a group, the person getting the most eye contact becomes the leader. You can twist it the other way around too. One way to wrestle control back is to refuse to look at the speaker who has an opposing view to yours. When he/she talks, look directly at someone else next to him but not at him. When you talk, look at everyone in the eye with a passing glaze. This can work even in a 2 person situation if you want to dominate. Look at the other person in the eye when you speak but look them in the face when they speak. (It’s a bit subtle and mean but conceivably, you are not an ass to use it with your girlfriend).
2. Speech: If you can simply pause for a second before answering to someone’s question, you would automatically come off as more confident and even a better listener.
Notice that we all have a tendency to blurt out a response instantly to everything said. Look at any of the great public figures or just the learned & mature people, they take a pause to consider the real implication of the question and then answer. They assume that what they will say is important and hence you can wait. Furthermore, what you asked is important and hence they can take a brief pause to let it absorb before they roll stuff out. This happens automatically among lovers too. All informal conversations are punctuated by more pauses.
The key when you are hacking this is to not fidget or give other bad body languages in that pause. Stay confident, pause and then return. Try the exercise and see its benefits.
There are books written on body language but if you can simply learn to maintain good posture throughout the day it will have an obvious impact.
Start by simply keeping your spine erect when you sit or stand. Given our addiction to plush couches and leaning against the walls, if you can master this, it immediately sets you apart in a crowd. For inspiration, consider how would a leader look if he gives his speech with one leg against the wall or on the podium.
4. Mirroring :
This is an advanced technique from NLP (Neuro-linguistic programming) which involves a lot of subtleties. If done wrong, this is the best way to come across as a total poser or manipulator. Hence, heed it with caution.
You can start by copying people’s most vital body language cue with a lag of about 5-10 seconds. Gradually lower the lag as you see rapport building. Back off & increase the delays if you notice that the other person is changing his posture too regularly – it’s usually a sign that either consciously or unconsciously they know you are trying some trick.
There are a lot more details around words, tonality etc but remember, one trick mastered is better than 100 tricks half developed.
This comes from a slightly more meditative background and is essentially the fundamental to everything. Life is basically your awareness of what’s happening through your senses, mental chatter & body sensations. If you can learn to be more aware of any given situation, it has quick benefits. Unfortunately, it’s not a hack but a principle.
You are already aware of a number of hacks or training wheels such as noticing one’s breath periodically during the day or chanting a mantra and so on.
6. Word Conditioning
When having a conversation with someone, pick a word they say and then whenever they say that word or similar words, just smile, give a sign, or give them some kind of positive affirmation. Watch in amusement as they start saying that word all the time.
7. Paternal Advice
Want people to take you more seriously? Tell them that the advice you’re giving them was given to you by your father. People tend to trust fatherly advice essentially.